December WHAT?!

No way is it already almost Dec. 1. This is crazy. I can't believe a whole semester has almost gone by - I feel like i JUST got here! AHHH! I thought I'd take a quick photo for those of you who might not remember what I look like. Winter is forcing me into warmer clothing and paler skin. BOOOOO. That's ok. In the background you can see our kitchen table - Meghan my roommate purchased beautiful red table mats and a bowl of ornaments to bring in the season. I stepped outside this morning and walked to the parking lot I park my car in, and it was so FRIGID. I breathed fog all day long. Even though the sun was out (praise Him) the air was such a cold crisp feeling. It was quite bone chilling. I have mentioned to other people, "wow this is really really cold." and they say, "this is nothing, wait another month..." Ha! So I am still anticipating the "cold" they speak of, which I'm not sure I've yet to experience in my life...Colorado is cold, but I'm not sure it was ever as cold as this morning FELT. Maybe the humidity or something makes it feel chillier than it is. I head home in about 2 weeks!! WOOT WOOT!

Come Lord Jesus.

Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains, for they had rebelled against the words of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. So he subjected them to bitter labor; they stumbled and there was no one to help.

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.

He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains.

Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron.

Psalm 107:10-16

3

This could break my heart or save me
Nothing’s real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I’ve been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me

I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time
Three months and I’m still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in

- k. clarkson

On the Road Again!

Headed to Philly today to go spend some time with my sister. It'll be about a 3 hour drive, and I'm glad that I get to ride down with Sharon (another staff woman) and her fiance Griffin. I plan on stopping by a local craft fair today though before I take off. I saw a sign posted outside a middle school saying there was a craft fair - and I always, every single year, go to the craft fair at my old high school. But this year I cannot. SAD! So I will plan on going to the craft fair here before I meet up with Sharon and Griff to take off to Philly.

We'll spend a few days in Philly (as Stacia works at the school in the days, I'll work on random stuff, then hang with her in the evening), then we'll head back to State College to have Thanksgiving meal with a family here that runs our Nav program - they take in "homeless" students so we can feel a part of something...ha...and then we will probably go to Lancaster on Friday to hit up the outlets - woo hoo for Black Friday shopping!

This past week has been one of great things.

My dear friends, Ashley Mahen and Nate Martin are now engaged! I'm so excited about this. Little shout out to them.

I felt like a lot of my "fall leaves" have officially fallen to the ground and I am almost at the complete "skeleton" phase of my spiritual winter. . . . I spiritually feel like God is giving me a little push and a shove and helping me open my tightly gripped hands to let go of the things I have held so dear and to continue to pursue him into the darkness of complete unknowns. This is probably one of the scariest feelings I have felt in a long long long time. But I am trusting a God who has unfailing love, trusting he has my best in mind, and trusting he will work ALL things out for my good. For his name's sake, not my own...

Some of you may already know this - some may not - but it is kind of in the "workings" so it might change. But I might be headed to Holland this summer on a mission's trip! This week some emails were being sent back and forth, basically confirming that this trip is going to formulate and become a real option for my summer. I get really excited just thinking about it! I proposed the idea of going to Holland to the Nav headquarters, and from there they are now pretty much forming a legitimate team that I can be a part of! It should be during most of July (late June, early August). I'll keep you posted as more details are known - for now, please just pray the doors would continue to open or shut depending on if I should go through with this.

Oh! And I have wonderful news! I am now starting to meet up with two girls (on a regular bi-weekly basis)!!! One of the girls is from China (international student) and this is her first year at Penn State - she has been coming to some of our events because another girl in my Bible study continues to invite her. This girl, MiMi, helps Dana (the girl in my study) with her math homework. In return Dana helps MiMi with her english. I met MiMi and began to get to know her. So eventually I asked her out to lunch, so we went and got to know each other a little better. I found out that she has no beliefs yet, and is very curious to know more about the Bible. She doesn't know much about the Bible at all - and so I offered to read it with her, if she would teach me how to use chopsticks (ha - kidding). But she does want to meet up with me to learn more about who Jesus is! I'm so excited for this. Never in a lifetime thought that out of the 10 girls who come to my study, the first girl I would begin to regularly meet up with would be a girl NOT in my study, an international student, and one who doesn't know the Lord! haha! God is so good!

The second girl I'm meeting up with also is one that only came to my study maybe a total of 2 times this whole semester. She is a friend of a girl who regularly comes to my study. Well this girl has been having a rough time this semester and would like to have some help with what it looks like to remove herself from the party scene. She wants to pursue God but doesn't know where to begin. She also recently had a friend from high school commit suicide and so that has been incredibly hard on her. I met up with her for coffee and she told me all about her past experiences with the church and how a lot of her girlfriends rejected her because of her "party" lifestyle. I assured her that God is after her heart, not her actions - that her actions will follow her heart's posture. We are going to start meeting up every other week to look at who Jesus is and what a true relatioship with him can be!

Pray for these women as they are stepping into mysterious waters for them - I'm sure they're nervous about meeting with me because what I'll be presenting to them is that Christ wants ALL of their life, not just some of it. And that's a scary move to make - pray they choose his love. Also pray for me! I'm scared to meet with them! I already have been thinking, "What in the world am I to do when I separately meet with them?!" So pray that I get good training for what to bring to them, and that I would also just discern where they're at and let the Spirit lead the rest.

That's a wrap! What a week!

Time for lunch.

x o x o

Rain, Snow, and Cookies.

Back from St. Louis. We arrived in the airport 40 minutes late due to rain and wind. We came home to really cold weather and pouring rain. I must admit though, it was comforting, and I find myself enjoying the rain. It pounds on the windows as I go to sleep and I'm not sure there's a much better thing than to fall asleep listening to the rain, bundled in warm bedding, wearing socks, and falling asleep while everything else outside the bed is frigid.



The conference was a really good thing. I enjoyed it a ton actually! There were tons of speakers and group talking times. It was such a good reaffirming time to realize why I'm doing what I'm doing here. Sometimes it is really easy to lose sight of why I'm here. When you don't have tangible goals or physical mile-markers to see your "work", for a person like me who is very goal-oriented, it can deceive me to think, "WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING WITH MY LIFE?!" But this conference had 1,500 other people like myself who are solely focusing our efforts toward laboring for the kingdom of God. . . so normally in a job, most of us put our focus on how to make the workplace our ministry, how to affect those in the cubicles next to us, how to produce our work as if working for the Lord at all times. This position is just like that, except on top of trying to make the "workplace" my ministry, my work IS ministry. So it is all consuming sometimes to realize that my goal is ministry...not bringing ministry into the workplace but that my workplace is solely ministry. Really really really bizarre and difficult to get used to (in my opinion) after having worked for a degree and shifting my giftings of marketing and business into working on strengthening spiritual giftings...such an abstract thing.



These are some other EDGE girls I hung out with.

So this time away was good to refocus that this job has purpose - that students are longing, waiting, and NEEDING a Savior who will meet all their needs. It "JUST SO HAPPENS" that we have that Savior and can help in ushering them into the heart of God. This really gave me a desire to come back here to Penn and pursue these girls - in relationship mainly, and trusting that God would use that faithful pursuit and breathe his love to them through me and my movement towards them.



I met some new friends. = )

This Saturday we're having a Girls' Night at my place with my study. As usual (with girls! yay I love women!) we will be doing pedicures/manicures, baking cookies and watching a girly movie. I wanted to do something to connect with the girls before they all take off for Thanksgiving. Please pray for a specific girl (we'll call her Sandy ... that is not her real name...) who is an international student who does not know the Lord but was brought to Navs by a girl who's in my study. I connected with her, and we are facebook friends (ha) and I think she might come to this girls' night. I'd like to meet up with her at some point also just to share the gospel with her - she loves to talk with us because she wants to learn english better. Also, please pray for another girl (we'll call her Bambi...again, not her real name...) who just came to my study this last Tuesday night for the first time. She is "feeling" out different organizations and spiritual things on campus to see what she wants to do or belong to or believe...pray I could share with her the truth, and clearly. She is planning on coming to Nav Night tomorrow night, as well as our girls' night! SO EXCITED ABOUT THESE GIRLS.

I have my ticket back home for Christmas already purchased and waiting to be used! I'll get to be in the Springs for a little while, I can't wait to head back and see those beautiful mountains....be still my heart!

We have three (now four!) weddings coming up. One is my roommate Christine who will be married January 5th and will move out. Then we will replace her (not emotionally though, just physically) with a new roommate, Jen, who also just got engaged like 4 days ago. Our other housemate, Jamie, is getting married to Susan on Dec. 22nd, so he will be moving out of the guy's side. Then there is Sharon, another Nav staff woman at Penn State, who is marrying Griffin (who lives very close to Stacia in Philly) on January 12th. She'll move to Philly (so sad about this) but will hopefully become closer friends with Stacia...so that's good. Then my dear dear dear friend Philip is getting married (yay Phil!) to Anna on Dec. 22 so I will be home to go to that wedding!



This is Christine, my soon to be old roommate...boo hiss...

I'm also beginning to pray more about what to do this summer, as well as what next year will look like - what I'll do....If it crosses your mind, please pray for me that I would be lead exactly where I should go. I have some thoughts, but nothing formed or set in stone...just thoughts.