Belgium down, Prague to go!

This screen is blank right now and I'm not sure how to go about filling it up with words that express what has taken place the past few weeks.

Belgium, summercamp, 160 Dutch students, prayers for healing, words of prophecy, tears and tears, a cute baby to hold, talks on authority, power, sex, and discipleship, a chef who chose to cook all middle-eastern food, and lots and lots of Dutch words I could not understand.

My favorite song throughout the week was "Pris Hem"...praise Him. It still plays in my head. It basically is the only song I kind of understood in Dutch:

Pris Hem, Pris Hem,
Heer aan de Vader,
Pris Hem, Pris Hem,
Heer aan God.

I believe it says, "praise Him, praise Him, to the Father(?) praise Him, praise Him, to God..." actually i really only know the praise Him part. HA! But I can still hear it in my head.

Maybe one word to explain how I felt this past week would be "outsider". A lot of the week was spent with thoughts in my head. There was Dutch being spoken all around me so many times I couldn't understand anything - and after a while it just numbed my mind so I had lots of time to think to myself. Its weird having another language around you you don't understand. To feel like a minority - CRAZY! There were 5 Americans that week to 160 Dutch people. It was actually really a cool experience. It gives me a heart for all the foreign students who come to America to study at our campuses. Its easy to feel lonely when you can only communicate to a few people easily, and the rest you really have to try and work at understanding. Granted most of the students speak English (very well considering), but it is still work to communicate with them because you have to watch each word you say to see if it is received in the way you are sending it.



A photo of us at lunch talking with the Netherlands National Nav Director, Jelle. He was really helpful with teaching us about the culture.

Our role was cooking in the kitchen. Each day we cooked dinner for the 160 students. Lots of cutting vegetables (our hands grew sore!), lots and lots of garlic, and lots of black olives. Like I said, the chef, Harmen (great guy) wanted to have a middle-eastern theme (not sure why) so we ate lots of rice, raisins, curry, black olives, garlic, and vegetables. Smelling garlic now is a little overwhelming. = )



Nick and I in the kitchen - do not be fooled - I still have all my fingers.

I had a few really good conversations with some of the staff people while I was there. We talked about the roles of men and women and the dynamic of marriages in Holland. We talked about how they struggle as a culture to submit to authority figures. How women struggle to let men help them with things - they feel they need to do it themselves. We talked about their education system, how they view religion, relationships, and their approach to God's Word. All really interesting stuff. I won't go in to details now but hopefully when I'm home I can sit down and compile my thoughts more.



Here is Liz, Tirza, and myself. Tirza is on staff with the Navs here and was one of my roommates. I had some really good talks with her and got to go with her and her group of girls to the city. We went shopping one day and had coffee out on the terrace, discussing their Nav program.



Here is Theo and me. I met Theo back in Pennsylvania when him and Laurence visited the US and toured New York, Pennsylvania, and Colorado. It was good to catch up with him at summercamp again.



This is Liz and I with our headphones on. Laurence and Hanneke so kindly translated each talk for us and we sat in the back, looking so cool, with these headphones on to hear it translated.



This is Hanneke and I in the kitchen cooking together - she was our translator and sooo sweet.

The things I really appreciated seeing - they BELIEVE in God and his work NOW! After the talks (they would have worship at the beginning of the meeting, then a speaker would talk, then worship at the end - almost identical to our services in America) but at the end they always offered prayer. Lots of students stayed around after each meeting to have some staff people pray for them. They prayed for healing from back pain, headaches, MS, etc...and they actually believed God would heal them. They turn to prayer BEFORE they turn to medicine. I had like 5 headaches while I was there and immediately popped ibuprofen without thinking twice. They immediately thought to pray about it, expecting God to heal them - and He did!!! We heard lots of stories about how people were healed that week - physically and emotionally. I really want to expect God to heal people - why would He not want to? Why do I expect Him not to - or am so surprised if someone is healed? They kept saying "if its in the Word, we want to try it and do it."

I loved how they were open for risks and mistakes. I feel in America we are so cautious. What if God doesn't heal them? We don't want to risk it - lets just not ask for it, then we won't risk being disappointed. They felt like it was well worth the risks of being disappointed if it meant that sometimes God would choose to heal. They approach the Word like children - it was really neat to watch. Like they would see something in the Bible and would hunger after it and ask for it - they would say things like, "we're not sure how this works or what to do, but if its written, we'll try it."

I loved that!!

Belgium itself was a little more run-down than Holland. The roads weren't as well maintained and the buildings were decaying and the city was not as beautiful I feel as Amsterdam is.



Mike and I walking with John on the streets of Belgium.

We stayed in a theology school - they had lots of empty offices or rooms so we dragged dirty mattresses from the basement and put them on the dusty ground and put our sleeping bags on them. There were 5 girls in my room. I usually went to bed right after the nighttime meeting because I was so tired each day. Being an introvert, I have to have my time alone, and by the end of the day I was worn out! We'd wake up, go have breakfast (and coffee, yay!) and then we'd have an hour or so to spend time with God, then we would have our morning meeting, then we would have lunch, then we'd go and cook, then we'd have dinner, then the nighttime meeting, and then I'd go to bed.

The last night was SO MUCH FUN. We had a dance to end the week. They played European music (techno stuff) and everyone just jumped up and down - it was so much fun! They also had wine and beer...at a Nav event...haha. That is definitely Europe and post-modern. Drinking with the staff and the students at the same time - it was hilarious to me because at the last meeting they took time to thank each group that served that week. The people who were on the service team, or the technology team or the people who led groups or were on staff. As they thanked them they went up front and gave a small "acceptance" speech (really funny) and then they got to choose their choice of beer for the night. That is for sure something I would not see in America. Distributing beer at a church meeting?? I loved it <3 So unconventional.

And last but not least, meet Lois.



Lois was one of the staff person's baby girl. She turned 2 while we were at summercamp. I eyed her all week, and finally on the last day I got to hold her for at least an hour. IT WAS SO GREAT and I think about her everyday which is kind of weird. I miss her... = (

Now we have been taking it slow and just resting these past couple days. Two of my friends from 2 summers ago visited me here! Otto and Nynke I met when I worked at the Glen Eyrie bookstore - they were doing a Navigator summer program. They came to the States for the summer from Holland, and when they heard I was here, they traveled by train to have dinner with me! So great to see them and catch up.



This is Nynke and me.

We will leave for Prague on Thursday. This is basically the end of my time in Holland. When we leave for Prague on Thursday it is "off the Navigator clock" and becomes just our personal vacation (how cool is that). So it no longer will be a mission-trip ministry expense, but becomes just our own personal trip. It will be nice just to reflect on the weeks and to try and gather my thoughts and rest before I head home.

Thursday is Prague - Thursday to Thursday, and then I'll fly back to the STATES! I cannot wait. I have missed America. I do love our country ; ) Holland is great. But I am definitely an American - I have figured that out.

Then I will be home for just a couple days and fly back to PA for the new year. The next weekend I get to go to the Maryland beach with Nate and his family so that will be really fun and really really good to see him again ; ) I can't wait to see all my friends in Pennsylvania and to start the school year again. I have so many thoughts and ideas I can't wait to implement this year!

Thank you all for your prayers and for your emails - I have loved hearing how you're doing. Even if I can't write back, keep em' coming! <3

Rain, the Holy Spirit, and H&M!

Three things to sum up the past couple days other than me having pink eye and a cold...

One, rain. It has been raining here each day, cloudy and cold. I don't want to complain, but IT IS JULY! That's ok. I guess that is what I get for going further north.

Two, the Holy Spirit. Yesterday we went to Utricht and two guys, Joost and Theo, gave my team a talk on the Holy Spirit - the person of the Holy Spirit and what his purpose is. The primary focus of the talk was to hear about prophecy and what the Dutch Navs emphasize in regards to this gift. They said that to them, prophecy is hearing God and sharing what you hear with others. We did some exercises on using our imaginations and allowing God to speak to us through the imaginations He has given us. It was all very interesting and was neat to think about how God is ALWAYS speaking and wanting to talk to us - we just rarely take the time to stop and listen. I was definitely challenged to ask God more questions and to EXPECT to hear Him. The ministry here is very open to experiencing God in many ways the Bible talks about. Its neat to see.

Three, H&M!! We have H&M's (a clothing store) in the States but normally only in bigger cities like NY and Philly (ok and Lancaster, PA apparently...ha) but they have TWO just in their downtown area of Amsterdam! So we visited both today and I got this really fun sweater thing....very European = )



Tomorrow we'll rest in the morning (thank goodness, my body is rebelling against me with colds and pink eye...not sure what's going on) and then we'll have another training in the afternoon, and then we'll pack for summercamp.

We leave Friday morning at 9am and will be nonstop till we return the next Saturday - pray I have enough energy and health to be able to focus on all the talks and interact with 160 Dutch students! There will be talks in the morning and night, and our team of 5 will help cook for the students during the daytime while they go and do service projects around the area. The summercamp is in Belgium. During the talks they have ordered headsets for the 5 of us Americans so we can hear it translated in our ears without disrupting the meeting by having 2 translations at the same time - this way the students can only hear it in Dutch and we can hear it in English. Some of the topics they'll talk about with the students deal with their identity in Christ, the history and mission of the Dutch Navs, a gender (sex) talk, talks on gifts of the Spirit, and many others.

You won't hear from me for a while - so till then, have a great July!!!

The Mind and its Wonders

My heart can't sleep tonight. Its 1am my time, and a few unexpected turns have come up that I wasn't expecting with my time here in Holland.

Let me preface by saying I knew (head knowledge) what I was going to encounter while I was here - I think part of me thought because this trip was during the summer "slot" where a Nav "mission" trip was supposed to go, that this would be a trip of me serving and helping the Dutch Navs. I am now realizing, as I discard that idea completely and let go of the notion that this is your typical mission trip, that this trip was designed by God (way in advance I'm sure before it began to be setup) to stretch my mind and heart. I am done trying to figure out what I'm doing here and what the purpose is - and I am ready to simply start seeing with my eyes and heart what is going on here.

I have been educated more than I thought I would on this culture already...and I cannot express the pain my heart feels right now. I have heard a lot about WWII and had no idea - no idea - the impact of the history I read in books so long ago in a plastic chair amongst other rowdy distracting American students. I didn't know what happened. And my heart breaks right now - the tears cannot stop but come out - because I am feeling what I feel, is a loss of freedom...

In America (US) I realize now that we are safe physically. We have freedom of protection (obviously not everyone, but as a mass) - we are surrounded by a massive ocean of physical protection. Here in the Netherlands they are merely hours away from the next country. Germany, for instance, you could reach the border in 2 hours - Fort Collins is merely 2 hours and 45 minutes from Colorado Springs. I cannot, CANNOT imagine having Fort Collins have a different language than we have in the Springs. A different government, maybe even a different currency. I can't imagine having such lack of protection from another power that might bust in at any moment, killing kids and moms and dads - anyone - because of their desire for power. What does that even mean? Why power?? I don't understand.

I sat in a discussion the other day repeatedly asking, "But why??" Why did the Germans do that do the Jews? I don't understand. I still don't. And it is so close to these people's history. It happened just over 50+some years ago. A lot of these people's grandparents were in the war. A Dutch Nav-staff girl here I talked to said she wouldn't watch any war movies anymore because she knew a lot of people who were in the war and it was too disturbing of a topic for her. I didn't understand that. And after watching this movie (which we did tonight) paired with all the history I have been learning about...I am wrecked! I layed down to sleep but couldn't shut my eyes. This movie showed the war from the Dutch people's perspective. After Germany bombed Rotterdam to pieces (literally, 2 buildings, maybe 3, are left there - I just got back from a trip to Rotterdam), Holland surrendered to Germany because they threatened to ruin the other provinces. We walked that city and all the buildings were rebuilt after the war - everything was a new architecture compared to old Holland. It was sad to think those streets were bombed such a short time ago. I read about war on the internet headlines or in a textbook, but never have I set foot on ground where it took place. Realizing the closeness of proximity of all these European countries makes me feel unsafe (or rather makes me think I would have felt a constant state of fear if I lived anytime near that whole part of history...before or after...)

All this to say, my eyes are opening (although slowly and slightly I'm sure) to realize why these people, Eastern Europeans, are moving beyond the Modern era and into the Post-Modern era. They are children and grandchildren from generations where there has been war, captivity, power struggles, fear, racism, bloodshed, etc. No wonder they are moving in their thoughts - far away from what was - because they feel that the way things were didn't work! They are wanting to change things. It is a time where they are searching for something new - and Christianity is being redefined all over again. What an exciting time period in life - a new stage of history is being made.

It is so interesting to hear their thoughts on Americans - how we are not environmentally conscious like they are (its so true, even down to the luxury taxes they put on owning vehicles because of the damage they do to the environment), how we work ourselves to death and don't give our employees more than 1 week of vacation unless you've been with a company for lengths of time (they automatically by law get 5 weeks paid - if its a career-like job, they can only work 36 hours a week...) and lots and lots of other differences. Its weird being here because I feel I can view Americans through their eyes and it makes this whole "post-modern" thought process make sense. I also feel in America (specifically Christian-America) that post-modern has a ton of negative connotations. From their mouths and from living in these thoughts, they explain it in a way that I see what they're saying, and I DO see how our campuses and students are heading in this direction (if not are already there). I think that the term post-modern just gives a definition to what it is that is happening already. Needless to say I am not as fearful by these words like I was when coming over here.

I have seen and heard in the people here the conviction of the Spirit, in the same way I have conviction - but I see a sense of freedom to know the Spirit, to know who Jesus truly IS, to experience God, etc. It is a breath of fresh air that I haven't seen or felt in a while by a "mass" group of people. Its riveting to think about what they talk about. It breaks molds and totally TOTALLY rubs me the wrong way (but a good way) and it is really making me think about how to interact with the girls I meet with next year. If I am only on staff one more year (who knows...Lord does!) but if its one more year, what could I do with these girls to meet them where they're at? Not just a puzzle-piece or track that I can take them on - but to meet them where their need is. What would be "good news" to them? Christ is Good News - what would communicate that to them? So many thoughts right now.

I write all of this because I would like to feel better in my heart, first, and that is happening. Maybe I'll be able to sleep now that I've transferred it from inside to the computer - if only it were that easy - and secondly I wanted to write all this because as I continue to process through this with you, and discuss what my time is like here, just know that I am in as much suspense as you are. I have no idea why God brought me here! But already I see some things happening in my head that haven't happened before - and for that I'm grateful. I used to ask so many questions at the beginning of college, when I was wanting to know everything about everything...and then I grew quiet...and I feel like this is striking a beast within me to keep searching and not to be satisfied with what I know. I'm glad. I have missed feeling this muscle stretched - I welcome my old dear friend with open arms.

This may or may not make sense and it is late now and I'm heading to bed. Do with all this what you will - I don't even know what to do with it! But I'll keep taking you on this journey with me.

In Amsterdam!

I made it!!!

I didn't quite know what to expect - I didn't google any photos of Amsterdam, so I really was unsure of what to expect! But the city is much smaller than NY or any other main US city...it doesn't really have too many high rise buildings, like I thought I might see. It has a center part of the city where there are a lot of canals and boats and historical buildings, statues and lots and lots of bikes. I have almost been hit by a couple bikers a few times - and I've only been here one day! Yesterday we tried to stay up all day long to get ourselves on the same schedule. I was up for about 30 hours without sleep - except even in public locations I fell asleep. Mid-restaraunt I was passed out. They woke me up like 4 or so different times throughout the day. Once on the couch, once in public, once at the dinner table...ha...I finally got to go to sleep around 9pm and didn't wake up till 7am. I slept really well, and already am looking forward to sleeping again tonight. I have been up alone for 3 hours now...finally my roommate Liz woke up. I am staying at our director's house, Laurence. Mike is staying in his room, Liz and I are in the other room, and the other guys, John and Nick are in an apartment 25 minutes from here - they will be taking the train to get to and from our place each day.

Lots of tall people here - makes me feel short - and those of you who know me know that I am not a short girl! The Dutch are known for their height - I heard from a delightful person (shout out to Nate!) that the Dutch, on average, have the tallest male/female height averages in the world. I fit in well here! I have been talked to in Dutch a lot so far - on the bus, at stores, etc because they think I am Dutch. I have no clue what they're saying so I just smile and give a giggle...mwahahaha. Fooling people left and right! ; )

They have an H&M which I plan on shopping at at some point, and lots of other stores in the central part of town. There are parks. I smelled weed a lot while walking around and did see the infamous "coffee shops". It really wasn't much different though than any other city. But just smelling weed frequently you could tell it was different. But it is a safe city and people seem really friendly. Lots of tourists.

There are no tulips - it is out of season. I am bummed about that.

Here are some photos of Laurence's place, where I'm staying.



This is the entryway, foyer area.



This is the kitchen.



The bathroom.



Laurence's office.



The bedroom where Liz and I sleep - it has orange walls! The shades are pulled down cause Liz was still sleeping when I took this photo - her bed is on the other side of this picture.



This is the dining room which is connected to the living room. There is a piano in here and Mike is a master at jazz piano - it was been amazing to sit and here him just bust out something I wish I had on my ipod ; )



Here is the living room with big red couches and long white curtains covering large windows that let in a lot of light. Its really great!



Outside the living room windows is a balcony with a table and chairs - this is where I spent my morning reading...it is so nice and overlooks part of the neighborhood area of Amsterdam.



The view from the balcony.



Another angle from the balcony.

That should give you an idea of where I'll be in the evenings when we get back from our days. This week we have a few things scheduled. Today we are sight-seeing because Laurence is working as a dentist at his other job. Then tonight we'll have dinner with him. Friday I know they're taking us sailing (WHAT?!?! I have never been sailing - I can't wait...how awesome is that!) and Saturday we have our first training on post-modernism. I can't wait for that either. That's about all I know so far. ; )

The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever. Is. 40:8

So far its been neat to hear Laurence talk because I HAVE seen how convictions here are similar to the convictions we have in the states. He said that most Christians here do not smoke weed - I had wondered about their conviction on that since it is legal here, but they don't because they don't want to be under control of something other than the Spirit. That was encouraging to hear. It is neat to see how God's word will stand forever, here as well as in the US. It is the same Spirit in all of us!